Dear Reader,
I used to be a productivity-junkie. A decade or more ago, I was reading all the books, bookmarking blog posts on productivity hacks, listening to podcasts about the topic etc. to learn how to milk every second of the day.
You know what I mean?
Thankfully, over the years, I learned to slow down and not be go-go-go all the time.
I stopped wearing busy as a badge of honour.
Or so I thought.
Until something happened recently that made me realize that maybe I still have some way to go to learn to truly slow down.
Nearly two months ago, I had a fall while cycling. (I’m okay.)
I was forced to take a break for a bit. Except for a few bruises, my limbs were intact but my injured jaw needed healing, and so it was wired shut. It meant no solid food and talking only through my teeth for a few weeks. Those weeks weren’t as painful, but I can tell you it was Frustrating at first.
Most interesting was to see the sort of thoughts popping up in my head.
When I realised I was going to be forced to stay home for a bit and take it easy, my mind began to think of ways I could make this break ‘productive’.
Yeah, productive.
“Maybe channel my pain into a series of paintings. (Yes, very Frida-Kahlo. I even made a few self-portraits. LOL.)
Or draw a comic a day.
Maybe learn some new skill – perhaps finally learn figure-drawing!
And so on.”
Before I had my fall, I was in the thick of planning some in-person workshops in Singapore, in the midst of figuring out what Slowing Down Circle version 2 might look like etc.
And to suddenly hit the brakes on all of that was a bit hard. Understandably.
It took me a while to process it all. Thankfully, I was also able to recognise this urge to be productive early on, and stop it in its tracks.
I decided to lean into rest.
I paused work unless it was absolutely necessary, and I’m glad I could afford to. I had my course ongoing and monthly assignments and exams anyway, and that kept my brain challenged enough and quite happy.
I also knew that I’d still love for something to focus on (besides binge-watching Bridgerton). And so, I picked up my most ambitious project yet – I decided to crochet a top for myself.
(I learned to crochet last year and can’t claim to be good enough to attempt something like this. Ambitious, alright.)
So I ordered some yarn, asked a friend for an easy pattern and began.
Day after day, I’d crochet a few rows.
It felt like it took forever in the first few days.
Slowly I began to see the progress. My confidence grew.
Of course I made mistakes. I ignored some and re-did some.
My crochet improved. As did my mood.
And in about four weeks I was done.
It’s possibly the most satisfying thing I’ve done. And it is beautiful if I say so myself. Here’s a close-up.
Of course, besides crochet, I Netflix-ed, I read books, and I wallowed. I suspect I would’ve wallowed a lot more if I hadn’t taken up the crochet project though. It helped me focus and gave me a sense of purpose that felt light and exciting.
The two books I read during this period that had been on my reading list for a while – Rest is Resistance and Wintering felt like a balm to my soul.
I don’t know if there is a grand moral or a takeaway from this story. But I realised that for me, taking a break doesn’t need to look like doing nothing. I can still be creative, I can still enjoy myself and it can be wonderful for my soul (and wardrobe!)
I’m not entirely sure why I felt compelled to share all this. But a part of me feels it would feel inauthentic to carry on as if it’s business as usual. I also know that some part of this will resonate with someone. Perhaps it might even make you evaluate your relationship with rest and doing.
I had my jaw wiring taken out nearly a couple of weeks ago, and I am back to eating and talking (almost) normally. I can also sing, smile, brush my teeth, and lick my lips – it’s CRAZY the things we take for granted!
While I did make art and journal on and off in these last couple of months, I feel ready to get back to it all more regularly. I hope to resume with my newsletters as well.
The Hungry Palette Store is open again
If you’ve been waiting to order the Slowing Down Art Journal, any of the Kitchen art prints, or the Let’s Talk Trash books, this is a good time.
I’m offering 15% off storewide until the store closes again on 17 July. No discount code needed.
Go get yourself or a dear one a gift, perhaps?
Thank you for reading until the end. Tell me how you’ve been, and what the year has been like for you?
Until next time, dear reader, be careful if you’re cycling downhill :)
Love,
Shub
Sometimes I think life feels like a busy intersection where I am waiting for traffic to clear so I can move forward. Thanks for sharing your story of how you turned waiting into resting. Sometimes if we are too focused on forward we miss some really great alternate routes. So glad you are safe.
Glad to hear you are doing better, that fall sounded bad and having your mouth wired-up sounds terrible.
Love the crochet top. <3